Poems of Sorrow

creeping around my own house

like a ghost in white sheets

sometimes i wonder

if anyone ever sees me

not the me that i show

to everyone else

the me only i know

that i stash on a shelf

why do i creep?

fears terrors and sweats

all haunt me daily

and will forever i bet

is anyone watching?

can anyone see

the curtains stay closed

so nobody can peek

at me......

i have bars on my mind

and over my soul

and im trying so hard

to hold on to my soul

a life full of bars

that is what i live

and sometimes i know

ive nothing left i can give

the bars are a warning

to people outside

to leave me alone

and not try to guide

me through this maelstrom

of sorrow and pain

and just leave me be

alone in my rain

my bars will not leave me

no matter how hard you might try

so please just give up

I hate seeing people sigh

flashes of lightning

in my mind

explosions of light

deep inside

booming and banging

all through my brain

flashes of thunder

and flashes of rain

the lightning is flashbacks

my sorrow the rain

and mostly i find

that my thunder is pain

i try to ignore it

i  do whatever i can

but it feels like im walking

in treacherous quicksand

and then i give in

to the storm within me

and it feels like my soul

is lost and always will be

my days are full of agony

my heart is full of pain

the clouds above are making me blue

can i send you back the rain

theres another world inside the sea

there are secrets in my soul that i cant find

and i need some fortification against

the nightmares making my teeth grind

thanks to what ive gone through

a part of me is gone

and even in crowds of people

i feel desperately alone

the thunder always draws me

there's water in my brain

i need to get peices of me back

so can i send you back the rain

weighing you down

making your heart race

pushing rational thought aside

crazy-making

aggravating

can you let it go?

or will you lose control?

fist on a wall

an angry phone call

screaming

raging

sweat beads break out on your forehead

acid churns in your stomach

adrenalin rushing

blood pumping

deep breaths and counting to 10

meditaton and relaxation

harmony

quality

calming down

over